HOLDING ON TO RESENTMENT IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE.”
On a sanity level, no one should be drinking poison or hurting themselves and similarly we should not hope that someone will die. That’s on a sanity level or a rational level. However, we are often taken over by our emotions and an ego that tells us, “You have been wronged!” It’s a double whammy or double blow. Not only have we been hurt/emotionally injured, but now we are living still with that situation.
The Hurt Within
Our ego or self-image has been attacked by being treated unfairly, being judged or being wronged. Our self-image has been abused and we want to fight back. We know our feelings for revenge or an apology can be negative, but we hold on to the pain. Keeping these negative feelings is like letting a fiery dragon exist within you. If we are treated unfairly again, we feed this fiery dragon and it gets angrier and angrier and it will burn the next person who tries to put us down. It becomes a monster. Sometimes, a hurt or wronged person ‘shuts down’ and denies any emotion – “No one will ever hurt me again.” This can result in a person who trusts no one and will never trust an intimate relationship. In the end, we hurt ourselves.
Stay or Move On
We have choices – stay in resentment, pain and anger – or move on. Don’t let something that happened in the PAST impact you in the NOW. Express your feelings in a calm manner. Set goals for your LIFE – it is your life. You may want to visualize a stage with all the things that inspire you – and- bring that person that hurt you on to the stage. You may not be in a position to forgive him/her/them, but order that person off the stage and into the wings. “You have no place amongst the things that I value in my life.”
I watched an Oprah show on forgiveness. Oprah stated that you can forgive someone and never have to meet them again. She stated that forgiveness is for the person that is hurt because it sets that person FREE. Release that angry or hurt dragon from within.
Letting go of resentment doesn’t necessarily lead to forgiveness, but when you embrace forgiveness, resentment ceases to exist.
If you go the route of forgiveness – then you are in COMMAND.
You are forgiving from the position of power.
“I have the power to forgive you. I do so and you are no longer part of my memory or physical existence. With you gone – I claim a new freedom for an exciting and fulfilled life.”