Aug 302017

Unknown Lawyer Defends Pastor Joel: Jesus was NOT a Socialist.

During the recent Texas Hurricane disaster that left 30,000 people homeless, Megachurch Pastor Joel Osteen was criticized for not opening this church to the poor and needy.

The internet and other media outlets blasted him.  In an effort to shore up his millions (and get more  future money), Joel stated that his church already had been doing “somethings” to help the victims of the hurricane.  He is known as a man of prayer and these prayers have been to help the victims and to keep his Mega-Church and 18,000 sq. ft. mansion safe into God’s hands.

“Unknown” Lawyer Defends Joel.

Through the grapevine (and you can’t often trust the media), an unidentified lawyer came to Joel’s aid.  He said that such ‘fake news’ exposed the ‘Gospel of Socialism’ – Jesus was NOT a socialist or Communist like the left-wing would have you believe.”

The lawyer, known as a staunch supporter of Joel’s church and rumoured to be connected to many of Joel’s projects said that he had often flown in wonderful comfort in Joel’s personal jet.  “This man cares about people’s comfort; I am proof of that!” We showed him this snippet about Joel’s home and personal plane.  “Envy is an abomination in the Bible!” was the response.


Defending Joel’s 18,000 sq. foot mansion.






The lawyer supporting Joel gave an interview off camera.  He insisted his voice and profile be disguised.  He gave a reason for his caution, “Today, you cannot be assured of safety from far left liberals.  Look at Charlottesville, whites like me, cannot march without being attacked by the left-wing socialists and Communists.”

Joel’s little shack!  Modelled on the stable at Bethlehem.

“ The Interviewer asked the  lawyer asked about the opulence of Joel’s mansion. He responded with obvious disgust -“This is America, a country filled with opportunity.  Joel has worked hard for his money and has been blessed by God.  Poor people can be inspired by the prosperity that God has bestowed on Joel.  I, too, have a large mansion, but ,(and he chuckled) -not as big as Joel’s.  He’s a true Texan – loud and proud!”


Messing Up the Mega Church

The lawyer looked at his watch.  “Look, this is entering ‘extra fees’ time. Make your questions as long or as brief as you want!”  When asked by the interviewer why the mega church has not been filled with needy persons, the lawyer shook his head.  “You just don’t get it – do you?”  Jesus drove the money lenders out of the Temple!  Why?”  The interviewer responded, “Because they were cheating the poor?”

“Hell, No!” That’s the left-wing interpretation of the Holy Bible.  “He chased them up because they were messing up the sacred church of Jerusalem!”

“You mean Temple or Synagogue?”

“Well, let’s not bicker or words.  Jesus became a Christian.”

“No he didn’t?  Why don’t you read some of Pastor Joel’s books and educate that dumb left-wing Communist mind of yours?”
“I’m ending this interview.  Christians outnumber Jews!  There’s the fact.”

“Wouldn’t Jesus have opened his home in Nazareth if there had been a disaster?”

“You just don’t get it!  Jesus had a poor carpenter’s home with nothing for people to steal.  Now, Pastor Joel has been given wealth and riches by God.  He knows the Bible and he does not want them people to steal.  That, would be breaking the 7th Commandment! Wouldn’t it?”

“And people looking on at his 10.5 million dollar home, Mega-Church arena and his millions in the bank – surely, they are asking for help from someone representing Christ?

“Hell No!  I’ll say it again, Jesus was NOT a socialist!”

“People like them, refuse to believe in hard work.  Their faith, unlike that of Pastor Joel, does not believe that God wants everyone to be rich.  It’s simply an act of faith. ”

The interviewer was clearly agitated –

“But Pastor Joel has abundant riches – surely…..?

“I’m ending this left-wing non-Christian approach of you in the “Fake Media.”  People who deny the blessings of God on Pastor Joel are breaking the 10th Command -“Thou shalt not covet or envy thy neighbour.”

“I don’t know what else to say?”

“That’s a sign from God!  I listen to what God tells me.  If you don’t hear him, then, you are surely in the payroll of Satan.  You’ll get my bill in a few days.”

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