STUCK AT A CROSSROADS: THINK ABOUT SOME CHANGES
Paula here. I write to find out what I know. I research to find out what others know. The two are interchangeable.
Change is inevitable in our lives. We can make changes or changes happen to us. For example, we can make a change by taking a course, or our partner leaves us – a change brought upon us. We may not realise it in kindergarten, but the entire road ahead of us will be a series of changes. It will be a matter of ascending and descending life’s challenges and adventures. However, there are often times when we reach a plateau and we either find it peaceful from the long life of stress or we vegetate because it is comfortable. There is also the journey within where we start to find out who we are – what are purpose in life should be – and how we find peace.
Most children and young adults, are attracted to the lights and noises of the Merry-Go-Round. Kids happily yell from painted animals, lights flash overhead and parents cheer with the odd order “to hold on with both hands.” For kids, it is an innocent ride. This blog concentrates on the adult merry-go-round that can be escapism, or a happy ride – just bobbing up and down. It can also be a gruesome whirling out of control. Any form of addiction or accepting abuse would fall into this category.
Many young adults head for the ‘big city lights.’ If you are gay, it is a chance to be anonymous even in a heterosexual world. There are many Merry-Go-Rounds that can be separated in social, economic and even spiritual realms. In our younger days, we could dream on the Merry-Go-Round and burn- the -candle- at – ends.
Now and again, a Merry-Go-Round can be enjoyable, but when we use the term to mean drudgery, boring repetition or soul-slavery, then we had better get off.
Getting-Off and Going Forward
At the crossroads, these may be some of the questions asked.
“Is this all there is to life?”
“Am I just working from pay- check to pay-check?”
“Has my relationship diminished from love to just living together?”
Am I drinking my life away?
At this, stage we need to make a choice – give up, or make a change. We may not know what the change looks like, but we know we need to look for purpose and direction in our life. This is when we need the clarity so as not to completely turn our world topsy-turvy or upside down.
Short, Medium, Long-Range Changes/Goals
If your job is the problem, it may not be wise to give it up as your first change. Start with small changes – getting out more often, taking up a hobby – meeting a friend once a week. Perhaps, loosing weight is a goal, but it takes time and dedication and to refrain from going overboard (6 days a week at the gym). It is possible that starting with some these short-term achievable goals, it may give your greater coping powers to deal with your workplace.
When these changes have brought you greater happiness and perhaps more friends, then a job change can happen. There are no hard and fast rules.
The “Bright” Moment or “Dark” Past!
Don’t let what has happened in the past, hold you back from the present moment. You cannot change what you did, or didn’t do in the past. You cannot change what has been done to you. Don’t carry that person around as baggage. If you do, he or she is still hurting you. There are many ways to symbolically ‘let go.” Write the regrets or hurts on a piece of paper and burn it. Another way is to write these things on a balloon and let it fly away. (That way, you like the balloon can soar and feel lighter).
Eat Well and Exercise
Fuel up with good foods and exercise and watch your rapid acceleration into a better life. Everything takes time. Cut down on the alcohol and junk food. Develop self-will in little steps. Read positive books – see positive movies – enjoy positive people.
Accept and Promote YOU!
Here are the lyrics of the song: “ I’ve Never Been to Me.”
Oh I’ve been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed ’em what I’ve got
I’ve been undressed by kings
and I’ve seen some things
That a woman ain’t s’posed to see
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me
There are so many positive results from loving the self.
- We slowly start to become happier, more positive and others notice.
- People are drawn upbeat people and slowly move away from the negative ones.
3. Our happiness is joined by a friend called “self-confidence” and other friends can offer themselves “empathy for others,” ‘service to others” and “it’s good to be alive.”
4. This is not Utopia. Life gives us challenges. However, if we build upon positive goals and positive thinking, we can handle these changes easier.