Relationships are like daily cakes or gateaux. Your partner, friend or family and you bake on a daily basis. Sometimes, each person gets the ingredients, temperature and baking time just perfect. The individual cakes are so lovely that they can sit side-by-side to be admired.
On other days, one or both of the cakes fall flat. It is painful to look at them and often there are no words to describe the look and feel of the baking. Each baker falls asleep endeavouring to add better ingredients the next day. There is an acknowledgment spoken or not – that tomorrow is another day. There is also the realization that even the best bakers can have bad days.
Changing the Bakery or Shutting It Down
When there starts to be more bad baking days, there has to be dialogue. The bakery partners need to take a look at the situation. Is one partner being careless with the baking, or is forgetting to put in essential ingredients? There needs to be serious soul-searching and dialogue. If there is no interior questioning and dialogue, the heart and soul of one or both bakers diminishes or dies. The bakery can have the “Open For Business” sign with two isolated figures going through the motions. Perhaps, it is time to close for good or to return to what made the business such a success.
The bad baking days enter the psyche/soul/mind/heart. Each one adds a memory of pain and frustration and fear. It is so easy to let the mind go back and rehash/remember the ingredients of arguing, shouting, insults and anger. Going back does not help the present. It is possible to bake new and different cakes filled with the ingredients of honesty, and determination to remember the days of the ‘good’ cakes that brought such pleasure to both bakers. Living in the now or moment is crucial; the past is gone and the future is always uncertain. Even in the most healthy relationships the future is uncertain; disease and death can alter the baking relationship. Bakers need to live in the NOW and fill it with the sweetest ingredients. Each baker can introduce to the other – new ingredients. “Here, taste this – it is for you because the best ingredient IS YOU!”
Time is precious as are the ingredients to baking a relationship cake. Even if the process has been going on for years, new ingredients needs to be tried. Those ingredients that have been tried and found true are always kept. Take pride not only in your baking, but look at your partner’s baking. Admire and never take for granted the effort of your co-baker. Has your own baking style become careless? Each moment is precious – happy baking!