THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CIRCULATING SINCE AROUND 1999 AND YET I NEVER READ IT UNTIL TODAY (2013)
A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of this fine young specimen.
"You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of."
"Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no sir," said the handsome young man.
"I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours," said the agent.
"Your name. Penus Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your name."
"Sir," the handsome young man protested. "The Van Lesbian name was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. We have carried this name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason."
"If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you young man."
"Then I bid you farewell - my name will not change." With that, Penus Van Lesbian left the agents office never to return.
Five Years Later...
The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from the folds and onto his desk. He looked at the check. It was for $50,000 dollars!
He read the letter:
Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying the Penus Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving, I chanced to reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and endeavored to change my name. Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions worldwide. Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this check with my humble thanks, for it was your idea which has brought me to such wealth and fame.
Richard Wayne “Dick” Van Dyke is an American actor, comedian, writer, singer, dancer, and producer with a career spanning seven decades. He starred as the chimney sweep in the Walt Disney movie, “Mary Poppins.” with Julie Andrews and in the movie “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.”REMEMBER THIS IS A JOKE – AND DICK VAN DYKE PROBABLY HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT – DON’T TELL HIMpaula