Aug 212016
 

LIMERICKS

There was an old man of Peru,

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He awoke in the night

In a horrible fright,

And found it was perfectly true!

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A pansy who lived in Khartoum

Took a lesbian up to his room,

And they argued a lot

About who would do what

And how and with which and to whom.

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There was an Old Man on a hill,

Who seldom, if ever, stood still;

He ran up and down,

In a blue borrowed gown,

Shouting, “I’ll never stand still!”

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There was a young woman from Wheeling

Who claimed to lack sexual feeling

T’ill a dyke named Delores

Simply touched her clitoris

And she had to be scraped from the ceiling

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There was an old man of Blackheath,

Who sat on his set of false teeth.

Said he, with a start,

“O, heavens, bless my heart!

I have bitten myself underneath!”

laughter

laughter

A diner while dining at Crewe

Found a very large mouse in his stew,

Said the waiter, “Don’t shout

And wave it about,

Or everyone will be wanting one, too!”

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There was an Old Man with a beard,

Who said, “It is jsut as I feared!

Two owls and a Hen,

Four Crows and a Wren,

Have all built their nests in my beard!”

  • **********
  • I had to try my luck (paula)

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There once was a dyke called Marteens

Who wore the tighest of jeans

A big bike she steered

And she never did veer

But her farting made for musical parting

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