There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
In a horrible fright,
And found it was perfectly true!
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued a lot
About who would do what
And how and with which and to whom.
There was an Old Man on a hill,
Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
He ran up and down,
In a blue borrowed gown,
Shouting, “I’ll never stand still!”
There was a young woman from Wheeling
Who claimed to lack sexual feeling
T’ill a dyke named Delores
Simply touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling
There was an old man of Blackheath,
Who sat on his set of false teeth.
Said he, with a start,
“O, heavens, bless my heart!
I have bitten myself underneath!”
A diner while dining at Crewe
Found a very large mouse in his stew,
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
And wave it about,
Or everyone will be wanting one, too!”
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, “It is jsut as I feared!
Two owls and a Hen,
Four Crows and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!”
- I had to try my luck (paula)
There once was a dyke called Marteens
Who wore the tighest of jeans
A big bike she steered
And she never did veer
But her farting made for musical parting