Jan 312014
 

images-13I was born in Ireland, so I do know a thing or two about Irish women – lesbians in particular. At the end of an Irish rainbow is a lesbian and she’s a pot of gold!

There is a fighting spirit in every Irish lesbians.  It’s inherited!  Irish lesbians are a force to be reckoned with – a challenge and a reward.  If she has a tattoo – make sure you know the difference between a four-leaf cover and a three-leaf shamrock.

Ireland over the centuries have inter-bred so there are variations on the typical red hair with freckles or the dark colleen.

1.Patriotism – Be Realistic About the Emerald Isle.images-5

Irish lesbians (and all Irish have suffered from Irish emigrants and Irish Americans who dribble and drool about Ireland.  We are sick and tired of hearing “The Forty Shades of Green,” leprechaun stories,  and songs like “Galway Bay.” Lesbians tend to like to be considered modern and part of the European Union.

Don’t show her a postcard you bought of a white thatched cottage with a donkey outside loaded with peat moss.  She is likely to take out her iPhone and call for a cab. Ireland is cosmopolitan and modern.

The odds are that she has never taken Irish dancing lessons and she is embarrassed by the obsession of tourists with River Dance.

2. Claiming Irish Heritage

Go easy on this one.  At least know the county where you ancestors came from.

3. Terms of endearment-“Don’t do a “Blarney” on a woman born with the Gift of the Blarney.

Generally, Irish women are not very good at taking compliments so go easy on the charm. There should be subtlety involved. If you tell an Irish girl she is beautiful, sexy etc. she is not going to know where to look. Instead, offer mild flattery such as “Your eyes are very pretty.” Irish pale skin and freckles are a somewhat touchy subject, especially when we are constantly surrounded by American bronzed goddesses. Do not point out the fact that even though it’s the height of summer we still look as white as a ghost.

4. Eating and DrinkingUnknown-4

Ireland is NOT any more a land of boozers than any other countries – and that has been proved by statistics. And not everyone likes Guinness known as “Mother’s Milk” because years ago hospitals gave it to nursing women because of its nutritional value.

If by chance there is alcohol involved, take it easy on the” gargle”. You are not going to impress an Irish girl by getting “rat-arsed”. Chances your lezzie date can drink you under the table.  It’s in our genes!

5.  A Good Banter, Chin Wag – Talking is Foreplay

First arm yourself with Irish slang words – You might think the Irish speak “English” but Dubiners, in particular, have a language of their own.  Here are 30 words to learn.  Otherwise, cut out the talk and go to bed immediately.

1 Yoke Thing. any thing or object or person. A broad descriptive term for anything
2. Savage Very can be good or bad
3. Pure Really/very
4 Sound Reliable, dependable, a good sort
5 Tool Idio
6 Muppet Fool
8 Banjaxed Broken
9. Fierce Very
10. Shift French kiss
11. Gammy Useless
12 Manky Very soiled, smelly etc.
13. Deadly Fantastic
14 Box The female genitalia
15. Class A term used for something good
16 Plastered To be very drunk
17 Like Used at the end of every sentence
18 Grand Fine, ok, alright
19 Hi Put to the end of almost every sentence!
20 Gander A look
21 Puss Sulky face
22. Spanner An idiot
23. Jackeen Person from dublin
24 Mog Person of low intelligence
25 Chancer Dodgy character
27. Gom Fool
28 Cop On An order to grab hold of yourself and not be so stupid
29 Jacks Toilet also called the Loo
30 Gobshite If someone gets on your nerves

 

If you get to “first base” – nudge, nudge, wink, wink – it will be worth it!

 

Puss Sulky face

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