A GOOD JOKE CAN MAKE YOUR DAY!
Pilot to Passengers: “Welcome aboard, I’m Captain Smith and we are flying at 30,000 ft with good weather. Please relax and enjoy the flight.
The passengers listen, but the captain has accidently not turned off the PA system. He speaks to his co-pilot: “What would relax ME now is good sex and a cup of coffee.”
The nearest newardess runs to the cockpit to tell the pilot about his mistake. She just passes a couple of seats when one of the passengers stops her. He says, “Don’t forget the coffee!”
TWO LESBIANS AT A BAR
1st Lesbian: “I don’t want to date you! If you styled your hair, got decent clothes and lost a few pounds, I might consider it.
2nd Lesbian: “If I did all those things, I wouldn’t be sitting with you, I would be over trying to get a date with your friends!”
POINTS TO PONDER
-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-If you wear an antennae to a wedding would the reception be better?
-If you were scared to death, twice, would you be ¾ dead of 100% dead?
-If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
-If you asked the library where the “Self Help” books were, would he/she tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?