Jul 132016
 

FUNNY JOKES – WELL, SOME OF THEM ARE FUNNY!

Paula here.  I am trying to vary my blogs and not always post ‘heavy’ items.

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  1. A married woman brought her female spouse, Kate, to the window.   Look at that lesbian couple.   Joan kisses Martha every time they meet. You don’t have that same romance anymore. Why don’t you do that? Kate replied, “I don’t know Martha well enough to do that!”

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  1. A priest seeing a blank signboard on a lamp post wrote,

“I pray for all.” A lawyer wrote, “I plead for all.” Then, a   doctor wrote, “I prescribe for all.” Finally, a hardworking woman wrote, “I pay for all.”

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  1. A little boy was watching a girl kill mosquitoes. She told him, “I killed 4 boy mosquitoes and 3 female ones.”

The boy asked, “How could you tell if they were boys or girls?” The girl answered, “The 3 females were in the kitchen and the 4 males were sitting on the coach.”

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4.True story.

A woman was driving behind a van on whose rear doors   was a sign –Caution Blind Man Driving. The woman was curious and pulled out to pass the van – on its side was the writing—- ROCHESTER VENETIAN BLIND CO.

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5. An old sea captain was sitting on a bench when a young lad sat down beside him. The youth noticed that the captain was staring at his spiked hair, parts of which were done in orange, green, blue, red and yellow. The youth asked in a cheeky manner, “Well, old timer, have you ever done anything WILD in YOUR life?”

The captain smiled and replied, “Well son, once I got drunk and married a parrot. I was staring at you because I wondered if you were my son.

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6. A lesbian named Wanda died and met St. Peter at Heaven’s Pearly Gates. To gain entry she was asked to spell the word, “LOVE.” She entered.   The next day she looked down to earth and to her dismay, her girl friend had already found a new love. This woman was beautiful, sexy and had loads of money. Wanda watched as the new girl friend wined, dined and had passionate sex with her old love. For a week she watched as the sexy rich woman drove her love in an expensive sports car from place to place. Then, on a rainy and icy road their car crashed and her old love was killed. Wanda went to St. Peter and said, “Dear Saint, you work hard every day asking new arrivals how to spell a word. Let me work today in your place.

Peter agreed.   Wanda met her old love and asked her to spell two words – ‘Czechoslovakian diarrhea.’

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