A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker were
walking down the street together. A news reporter waked up to them.
“Excuse me, what is your opinion on ‘the meat shortage.’
The Saudi said, “What’s a shortage?”
The Russian asked, “What’s meat?”
The North Korean wanted to know “What’s an opinion?”
and the New Yorker insisted, “Excuse me? What’s an excuse me?”
Actual Hospital Chart Notes:
-Patient was examined and x-rated.
-No previous history of suicides.
-Appeared mentally alert but forgetful.
-Patient has chest pains if she lies on her side for over a year.
-Lab test revealed abnormal lover function.
-Patient refused an autopsy.
-Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The Five Surgeons.
Five surgeons were discussing which profession makes the best
First Surgeon: “I like to operate on accountants because when you
open them up, everything is numbered.
Second Surgeon: “Give me electricians. You open them up and
everything is color coded.”
Third Surgeon: “My favorite is librarians, everything is in alphabetical
Fourth Surgeon: “I like construction workers..those guys always
understand when there are parts left over and when
the job takes longer than expected.”
Fifth Surgeon: “Give me politicians, they are the easiest to operate on.
There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine and, the head
and butt are interchangeable!”