It doesn’t matter that Ellen is view in India with admiration – she’s an American and they do things differently like having a wife. If you look at temples in India, you will notice many figures of sexuality: men with men, women with women, and men and women. There is a tradition of families raising sons who occupy the role of women. The problem is that religion is again taking away freedom from gays – Conservative Hinduism and extreme Christianity and Islam.
If you are a lesbian in rural India, you are pretty well doomed. The odds are that you may not have sufficient education to become self-sufficient. Your life is already controlled – you will be part of an arranged marriage. It will be your major role to bring children into the world to honour your husband and your family. If you do find a female to love – then it must be in private. If you family finds out that you are a lesbian, you will be killed. It is a matter of family honour.
You do have a better chance if you are educated and living in a large city. There you may find gay and lesbian meeting places. You have a better chance to meet another lesbian. The odds are that you are computer literate and there are dating lines.
My hope and best wishes go to you my sister, in India.
Choose your life, control your life (when possible) be loved and love – but also be careful.