I came out in Boston, Massachusetts, which later became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage. It is a wonderful city filled with historical buildings and cops who have Murphy or Kelly as their last names.. It has three great sports teams,Boston Bruins (ice hockey), Boston Red Sox (Baseball) and the Celtics (basketball). Drive from Boston down to Cape Cod and find Provincetown, the gay/lesbian heaven.
When I say I came “out” in Boston, it was a process. The first year I visited a Bostonian and returned to Canada with an armful of “Coming Out” stories. I did my research, returned to Boston and had a one-night affair. I felt wonderful. I felt I had come home. I wished I had done it years ago, but Roman Catholicism threw its dark vale over me, until I saw the light.
Just because I had my lesbian sex the night before, didn’t mean the next morning I was a head-held-high lesbian. I remember visiting a women’s bookstore in Provincetown and paying for two lesbian items without looking the saleswoman in the eye.
My first lover purchased the novel, “Rubyfruit Jungle” by Rita Mae Brown for me. And I bought a cassette recording of Cris and Meg at Carnegie Hall for her (and one for myself) I played the tape all the way back to Canada. I loved the music and couldn’t believe lesbians called it other, ‘babe, honey, darling.’ I had a lot to learn.
I really loved one song, “So good, so right.” Here are some of the lines I loved.
“We’re on the shores of nowhere, looking out to sea,
You turn and you kiss my lips and laugh at me,
You laugh at me.
So good, so right, to be with you tonight.”
This is what I wanted, a fun lover in a relationship that I could describe as “so good, and so right.” It did happen, but it took some time. I lived with two women; one who left me broke, and one ,where we parted, but still remained friends. Now, I’m happily and legally married and very much in love. Boston seems so far away.
Many years later, and onn my honeymoon, I visited that same bookstore in Provincetown. I bought my purchases and went to a lesbian woman wearing a gay t-shirt. I looked her right in the eyes and had a great conversation. We were gay sisters!
I have to admit that getting up the nerve to come out wasn’t easy, but it was liberating!