Feb 272015
Don't Give up "J"

Don’t Give up “J”

BEING GAY CAN BE DEPRESSING  (for “J” on Gaystar News with Love and Hope)

I am writing this blog/article because I found a horrific story about a bootcamp in South Africa. Parents sent their gay sons there to be “turned into men.” Two boys died and the men who ran the camp have been found guilty of murder.

Comments on the Story

The story was printed on Gaystar News and most comments addressed the cruelty and horror inflicted. One comment stood out from the rest. Here is “J’s comment:

 This is just sad and scares me a lot and makes me www question my safety. Because I am a gay male 19 asWell. This is Why I do not step foot out of my own door let alone my country. The parents should suffer. You just believe anything nowadays. It breaks my heart when i think of whats happening in the world and that leads me to question my life as well. I think of commiting suicide because of these things that are happening because of the pain they went thru id rather just have a quick death then suffer for who i am.


I write with questions on my mind. Who is this young man? What is his story?

What circumstances has reduced him to “not stepping out of my own door, let alone my country? Is he just afraid of being gay or is he fearful of the demands of life itself.? Does he realize that good things are also happening in the world?

Is he clinically depressed and needs medical help?  This is NOT a sign of weakness, but often a person’s chemical imbalance leads to depression.  Does he need to speak to someone about a situation – past or present?   “J” if you are reading this – you made a comment  on Gaystar News and I see  this as a positive move.

I am Trying to Help

He has given a name and he seems to be from a county within the state of Pennyslvania. It really doesn’t matter where he lives, his experience is that of many gay persons. I gave him two addresses: one is the local LGBT community and the other is Metropolitan Community Church – which is 99% LGBT. I stated that even if he was not religious – MCC can offer him friendship and a social life.

The Homophobic World

It is hard for this young man to comprehend that while there is ugly homophobia, same-sex marriage is being legalized in most states. Those homophobes who try to pass “anti-gay laws” in the name of religious freedom –will be see the laws being overturned.

In Canada (and I can’t speak for other countries) most public high schools in Ontario have Gay/Straight Alliances. (Even some Catholic schools have formed them). These are clubs were students support one another in their sexual orientation.  This story came out of South Africa, but this is also the country that has legalized gay marriage.

Students triumph over anger and hatred

Students triumph over anger and hatred

If only this young man had that experience. I would also like to remind him that on James Madison Campus USA, a homophobic preacher was drowned out by students singing that Jesus loves Everyone.

DON’T LOSE HOPE!  I am returning to Gaystar News and informing this young man that I have dedicated a blog to him and other gays, lesbians and trans people who are struggling. Please seek help whether it be medical or social or spiritual.   You are NOT alone. I believe there is a plan for each one of us – There is love out there and it is for YOU.   You have worthy of love and worthy to love others.

Space- there is only ONE you!

Space- there is only ONE you!

In all the universe, in all the galaxies there is only ONE YOU.

You are unique and worthy.   Hoping to be your friend, paula

Many people are in “J’s” situation.  It doesn’t have to be this way for you.  PLEASE……MAKE

A phone call or email…. Below ad. is for USA, there will probably be one in your country…If it is a homophobic country then use the ad. below.


Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 9pm, pacific time
(Monday thru Friday from 4pm to midnight, eastern time)

Saturday from 9am to 2pm, pacific time
(Saturday from noon to 5pm, eastern time)

Email: help@GLBThotline.org

The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) National Hotline provides telephone, online private one-to-one chat and email peer-support, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States.

All of our services are free and confidential.

We speak with callers of all ages about coming-out issues, relationship concerns, bullying, workplace issues, HIV/AIDS anxiety and safer-sex information, and lots more!

We also maintain the largest resource database of its kind in the world, with 15,000 listings. Our database contains information on social and support groups, as well as gay-friendly religious organizations, sports leagues, student groups and more. We also have information on GLBT-friendly businesses including lawyers, doctors and various counseling professionals.

 Leave a Reply