Feb 132016


Typed in green is a genuine comment from this site:

“Lesbians do not have sex. What lesbians do is no more than masturbation.. The way they rub their clitoris together (During what they call sex.) is nothing more than what could be done using two fingers. The only difference is, instead of using fingers. They use another woman’s body. It is the same as some guy using a sex toy, but it’s alive. And when lesbians have anything close to sex. They use appendages such as strap-ons. That only simulate sexual penetration, something that happens between a man and a woman. So if lesbians rub up against each other in a manner only fitting to masturbation. Then one can only conclude that lesbians do not have sex, but use one another to achieve their own personal satisfaction and delude themselves with the illusion that they are having sex. “

My response:

Paula here.

What an interesting sentence you write, “Lesbians do not have sex.” I looked up the definition or meaning of the word “sex” and it can mean:

a, sexual intercourse (male penetration) b. Love making  c. sexual contact

Here is where everything I write is just MY OPINION. I think most women (straight or lesbian) would like to think of sex as “love-making.” Even with a male penis involved, I think most straight women would use the words ” love making”. Let’s make up a pretend straight couple and call them Mary and John. If Mary was to talk to her best friend, I think she would say, “John and I made love last night” and not “John and I had sex last night.” She might say, “John and I had sex for the first time.” I feel that humans want to “make love and have love made to us – it doesn’t matter if we are gay, straight, bi-sexual or trans.” Sure, there are times when the meeting of two people is just for sex. So with my definition of sex being a ‘making love’ situation, would YOU write, “Lesbians do not make love?”

Components of Sex:

Making love is NOT  just about the sex, but about feeling an emotional bonding. A lesbian having sex would probably think, “This hand is not just caressing or touching me….this is the hand of someone who loves me…or the fingers of someone who loves me – and it gives me a thrill or orgasm.” Sex is a matter of BODY and MIND. Sex can also be the fluttering of the heart!  AND,”How do you categorize a passionate kiss?”  Do heterosexuals kiss better than gays?  Sex can also be the uniting of two bodies and two souls.  Sex is what each person perceives it to be.  Yes, and  Sex can be just SEX with no emotions involved!

Lesbian Sex

Whether a person has a male penis inside them – or fingers – or a dildo – does it really matter??? The penis is making love, and so are the fingers, or dildo and each of these brings orgasms.  The commentator, seems to think that lesbian sex is mainly about rubbing against one another – well, a quick look at any lesbian sex books or videos will soon dispel that myth!  Several research studies have found that

LESBIANS HAVE MORE ORGASMS than straight women do with a penis. Honestly, I am not making this up.

“USING” anyone in Sex!

I also disagree with the writer’s comment that seems to state that lesbian sex or lesbian love-making is merely about using another person’s body.  Nobody, straight or gay, should be using anyone – be it in sex or in any situation.

The word “using” seems to imply that lesbians are not honest. Perhaps, this is not what the writer intended to say, but perhaps, others think this way, too.   The term ‘using” as used for lesbians, could just as easily be applied to a straight woman who touches a man’s body in different ways – this is equally a form of ‘masturbation’ isn’t it?  Again, ‘masturbation’ is just a label.  I want to know what the person(s) are thinking and feeling!

Sex is a natural gift and it should not be ‘labelled.’   We are not here to judge people, but to understand diversity in its many forms.  Sex is healthy and normal, and it is not for us to judge another person’s sex.   Society does, however, limit sex to two consenting adults.  pedophilia, incest and bestiality does not allow for human adult consent and psychiatric institutions state that these three acts fall under mental illness. Governments of every country label these acts as criminal offences.   Homosexuality is deemed a normal diversity by science. (Religions often revert back thousands of years to condemn homosexuality).

Celebrate Consensual Sex and Diversity!

Again, sex is a natural feeling. It doesn’t really matter how you have sex, but how it makes you feel afterwards – loved or used! I think you are not fully aware of how many ways lesbians can make love!!! Do have a look at a book or go on-line – we are quite creative! By definition “Lesbians love other women.” Trust me, lesbians do know how to have sex in many, many ways – and it is only “masturbation” if you look at it in such a narrow definition. Surely, a man’s penis – rubbing and thrusting – is also masturbation. Masturbation is a word that I don’t use in my own personal life. The majority of lesbians make LOVE and the SEX is wonderful!    I hope this helpful in the ongoing dialogues of life.  Again, this is my opinion.

Best wishes,  paula.

Another Thought:  In many countries and particularly in South Africa, there are vicious murders and gang rapes of lesbians done by heterosexual men.  The crime is called “Corrective Rape.”  The murderers and rapists believe that if a lesbian has “real” sex with a man, she will become a heterosexual woman.  This is the ridiculous belief that “lesbians do not have sex” or that “lesbians have inferior sex compared to heterosexual women.”  For these misinformed and vicious men, there is no concept that lesbian sex is ‘love-making’ and ‘bonding.’


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